Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
