Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
