so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
