Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Still dying that you shit outside
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Randomize
