Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
