the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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