I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
