omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
