I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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