we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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