I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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