Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
