Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
