but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize