Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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