Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
