Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You ruined the universe
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
