just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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