I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
