He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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