Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
