guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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