Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
