That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
third nipple confirmed
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
