There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have post one night stand depression
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