I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
