I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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