I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
