That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
