I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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