Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
