Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
MIDGETS
????
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
