just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize