No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I wish there were birth control emojis
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
