Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
