Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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