Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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