I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
