I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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