Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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