did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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