I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
now i know why i became what i already was.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Randomize
