I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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