I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize