Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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