i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
