just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
