I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize