is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
