doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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