Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
