make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
