I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Randomize