just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
