:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
