True but thats because hes a fetus.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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