"it" just moved
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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