I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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