Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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