Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
