I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize
