remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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