My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize